Driving through the rain one morning I watched a mother holding the hand of her child as they crossed the road.
The child was about 5 years old, and oblivious to the traffic or anything other than the puddles in the road.
I watched the mother almost pull her child across the road, keeping an eye on traffic, while her child jumped in puddles, giggling and enjoying the splashes.
It reminded me of my kids that age. It probably reminds you of your kids that age.
I don't need to mention the gender, or colour of that child. The simple actions of a child focused on jumping puddles in the rain is enough to paint a picture in mind of any child, living anywhere.
Despite the many differences that are used to divide us, there are so many similarities in all human growth and development, we often forget about these similarities.
Perhaps it's easier to see others as different. However the truth is we are one.
We might be shaped differently by the way we are raised. By the faith we follow. By customs and circumstances. By our education or lack thereof.
Underneath it all we are all human. We all have the same needs for survival. We have the same desire for a better life for our children. We have the same desire for a better life for ourselves.
Perhaps we need to forget about our differences, and look for the similarities.
Maybe it will make it easier for us to work together when we remember that at our core we are the same. We are all human. We are one.
In this last week I was blessed to go to the home of a wonderful couple, who live in a very upmarket estate. Upmarket enough that on the way in I had to pause for an airplane. One of those small ones. Because many of the people who live there own their own planes, and cars have to wait for airplanes to cross the road when they are returning from their private landing strip.
It got me thinking about the huge differences in people's life styles. On the one hand you have people who can afford their own planes, living in huge homes, eating the yummiest, best quality food, having more clothes than they can wear in a year, private boats and able to afford holidays overseas a few times a year. Not to mention if they start feeling unwell they can afford to see a private doctor. On the other hand you have the people who work for them who live in shacks, eat mostly cheap, poor quality, carb based foods (because it's the cheapest way to feel full) and if they get sick have to face the government clinics and hospitals. Which is enough of a nightmare that most people who use these facilities wait until they feel like they are dying before they go.
Don't get me wrong, I don't begrudge anyone their success or circumstance. But I do wonder if these elite people are even aware of the challenges that the 99% face in their daily lives. Of walking for hours to get to work, to get paid a monthly salary that's less than their weekly grocery bill.
It makes me almost grateful that I do know how the 99% live. That I am living like the 99% live. That I know what it's like to choose petrol for my car over food for the house, because if I can't get to work there will be no food next month. Why do I say this?
I can remember very clearly when I was more middle class than down on my luck... Overhearing a conversation between a director of the company I was working for explaining to the cleaning / tea lady that she needed to learn to budget her money better than constantly needing an advance.
Let's break this down: a person earning a director's salary, who can afford to pay out of pocket expenses like medical bills that aren't quite covered by their medical aid, a car service, vet bills; is telling a person who earns less than a weekly grocery bill to budget better.
I'd rather know what it's like that every cent is literally allocated to barely surviving. Where a sick child, a car service or any other surprise expense is not so much an inconvenience that means this month I can't get a new outfit, or need to cut back on eating out. It's having to choose food over that expense.
It's listening to a group of people in a skills development course discussing what to do if they catch a person stealing sugar from the work place. The expected answer is to report that person for theft. Hearing their answer humbled me. They explained they would approach this thief and find out why they are stealing sugar (maybe this person doesn't have food at home and they will instead create a stokvel to help them out).
Knowing what I do about that inequality in living, and how easily through no fault of a person but through a series of unfortunate events life can go from comfortable to poverty stricken in a matter of moments. It's having empathy with cars billowing black smoke because you know what it means. It means they are choosing to eat over getting a service, because even with the black smoke their car is still going.
If more people out there knew what the real world, outside of financial freedom, was like. There would be more of us campaigning for equality. For upliftment. Not charity, for raising people up through education and through giving them the chance most of us had at birth. Teaching to fish rather than giving out fish.
So I am grateful to have lived a life that has allowed me to experience this. Because I used to judge. And now I don't. Now I have empathy.
Hopefully my experience, and my little explanation above is enough to help you to not judge the billowing smoke coming from exhausts, or when your lower level employee comes asking for an advance to ask if there's a problem at home that you can help with.
Hopefully hearing about the other side of life will help you gain the empathy I got, without having to learn it the hard way.
So the biggest slam I see on the airy fairy folk is that of sending good vibes, or prayers and so on. So let's break that down into the science behind frequency, and vibration, how it is possible to manipulate it, and then the airy fairy stuff that ties into it.
For ease of writing I have included a list of links at the bottom of the page to the websites I got the science bit from. Disclaimer: I am not, and will never pretend to be a scientist. I have muddled through the big words (with a dictionary) so if there is a misunderstanding it is mine and mine alone.
So first the science bit in a nutshell: Frequency
Various studies over the years has confirmed that the human body does have a resonance frequency, and that it is possible for resonance frequencies outside the body to affect it. Our brain, skin, heart and other organs have different frequencies they resonate at (reference points 3 and 4 below).
The Semantics Scholar (reference 1 below) reported that both mental and physical injury was reported in his experiments where he subjected (mostly animals) to various frequencies.
The National Technical Information Service US Department of Commerce (reference 2 below) stated that the higher the frequency people were subjected to resulted in a proportionately higher damage to the body.
Our computers, lights, all electronics and many objects give off a resonance frequency, which we are then subjected to all day every day in the office, at home, and even out and about (reference points 5, 6 and 7).
Our planet has a frequency measured on the Schumann Resonance which can be found at Geocenter (reference point 8). The Schumann Resonance is nicely described by NASA (reference point 9).
Then the thoughts our brain produces creates various resonance frequencies depending on what we are using our mind for (gonna just start putting the numbers here from now - 10). This information has been used by sleep clinics and others to create music at various frequencies to stimulate better sleep, better memory retention and more. You can google that one yourself.
So to conclude our bodies have a resonance frequency, and everything around us has a resonance frequency, and our bodies are affected by the resonance frequency of everything around us. And what has been found to work (by myself and others) is using external frequencies (like music) to affect how our mind and body works (you can go to YouTube and find hundreds of thousands of video's to prove this, or even just think about how your favourite song can make you feel better).
Vibration
We learnt in school that everything is made up of atoms (14) and that these atoms are constantly moving (vibrating). These atoms in solid state are so attracted to each other, that even though they are constantly vibrating they don't go anywhere. We also got to do an experiment in high school (and is described better in the same reference point) where we heated a small metal ball, and then found it got bigger and couldn't go through a small hoop. Then when we cooled that same ball, it would fit in the loop, and when the ball got cold there was room to spare. Which is proof that the atoms were affected by outside influences, heat and cold, which caused the atoms in the metal ball to move further apart and closer together respectively.
All atoms have energy. This energy is what causes all molecules to vibrate even in a solid state (15,16,17). Magnetic fields have been seen to affect sound and heat waves, which engineers can then use to control heat and sound (18). We can see many video's on YouTube where sound is used to make pretty patterns in water and sand showing us the vibrations and frequency of the sound, and proving that sound waves can cause movement in other particles.
Crystals (like the ones the hippies wear as jewelry and use to hippie up their houses) are being studied in various places as a better way to provide energy to technological devices as an energy efficient internal battery (19). Converting the energy found in the molecules of the crystal into energy to power a device. Maybe them hippies are onto something with these crystals. You can even make your own battery using quartz crystal or a diamond (20) by your very self.
Prayer, mediation and other airy fairy wish wash has started to get researchers interested in scientific study. Although not many yet. Meditation has been found to increase frequency internally and externally. There are even studies that have shown meditation to stimulate the immune system (which then helps with combating illness) (11, 12, 13).
So to take a bit of an airy fairy leap here considering that science is starting to measure resonance frequency from our brain and body; we have known for a long time that everything vibrates and can be affected by external factors. We know that matter can be affected at an atomic level by outside influence.
Perhaps it's not all that unreasonable to send prayers, good vibes and the likes to people who need it. Maybe science will be able to measure the effect of using our minds to manipulate the frequencies around us.
Or maybe it takes a little faith.
Bibliography (and not one Woolfe among them)
1. https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/e8c3/a24c29e92c115fbc7f6f2f28f2088d59b901.pdf
2. https://apps.dtic.mil/dtic/tr/fulltext/u2/785648.pdf
3. https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/the-frequency-of-the-human-body-is.231156/
4. http://adsabs.harvard.edu/abs/2001SPIE.4317..469B
5. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mechanical_resonance (I know Wiki gets a sigh, but sometimes they have it right)
6. https://www.physlink.com/education/askexperts/ae698.cfm
7. https://sciencing.com/resonant-frequencies-7569469.html
8. https://geocenter.info/en/monitoring/schumann
9. https://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/sunearth/news/gallery/schumann-resonance.html
10. https://hypertextbook.com/facts/2004/SamanthaCharles.shtml
11. https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0170647
12. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/images/uploads/Davidson-Mindfulness_on_Brain_and_Immune_Functionpdf.pdf
13. http://www.wuttkeinstitute.com/meditation/
14. http://www.middleschoolchemistry.com/lessonplans/chapter1/lesson4
15. https://chemistry.stackexchange.com/questions/8213/reason-for-vibration-of-molecules
16. https://www.quora.com/How-do-atomic-particles-vibrate
17. https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/article/the-good-vibrations-of-quantum-field-theories/
18. http://theconversation.com/magnetic-fields-can-control-heat-and-sound-39154
19. https://www.azom.com/news.aspx?newsID=49155
20. https://sciencing.com/make-electricity-quartz-diamonds-6456846.html
We've all watched James Cameron's Avatar I'm sure. If you are part of the one percent who hasn't please do!
There's a large focus in the film around the Na'vi greeting and what it means. Of course I refer to "I see you"...
The explanation from James Cameron's Website explains it perfectly:
I See You is a greeting. In the Na'vi language, it is expressed Oel ngati kame for a neutral greeting or Oel ngati kameie to express a positive feeling about meeting someone. Furthermore, the Na'vi have two versions of the verb see:
- tse'a, which pertains to physical vision.
- kame, which means to see in a spiritual sense. It is more closely a synonym of "understand" or "comprehend."
The spiritual or understanding sight is the main focus of my thoughts today. We feel the call to be seen in all areas of our lives.
Our children, who are still honest enough to call us (repeatedly) to watch them jump, swing, and climb. Who call on us to see them. And not just for a moment with our physical vision. To see with our spiritual vision and understand how proud our children are to be doing what they do, and how desperately they want to share this with us.
Our friends, and family, who we visit. We go there to see them. Everyone of us, if we are honest, feels better when we are seen by others. Especially by our loved ones.
In a world that is filled with busy-ness we often see our phones, and the work we need to do. Or the social media content we need to keep up with.
See-ing is so much more than that, and should encompass more than just our little circle.
I’m sure all South Africans have noticed that on every street corner and at every robot there are beggars. Blind ones, amputees, burn victims, children, women with children, old men, old women black, white… so many. People handing out pamphlets, selling mobile car chargers, window washers.
We drive past them hardly even seeing them anymore because we are becoming so desensitised to these tragic people. We keep our windows up, glasses on and stare straight ahead. I watch these people as I drive by. Some keep their spirits up and make a joke of it for themselves to try and catch your eye. Most however are dejected and just go through the motions. Or even sit, or stand, on the side of the road staring into space.
Having been in dire straights myself I know how easily one goes from a comfortable life of food every day to a life of hunger and invisibility. It's all a series of unfortunate events that grind down the soul. This also leads to more and more people turning away, to friends "forgetting" your phone number, to family turning away. The lower I fell, the less I was seen. I was viewed as an inconvenience. As a beggar. Once even as someone who would take advantage of a roof over my head to steal. And it hurt. A lot.
Not my true friends, thankfully for me. They have kept in touch despite my trying to hide, and have seen me, and not just my situation.
Having learnt how invisibility feels, I know what a precious gift being seen really is.
So often we are in a rush. Time and acknowledgement of presence is often the first thing we stop giving other people. People are starved for contact, for time with another being, for touch. It’s the most valuable gift to give…. Your time. Eye contact, and listening. These are such rare commodities now days that this starved culture is finding a void inside their beings where this contact would normally be.
Think of kids of very successful parents who have all the electronic gadgets that money can buy. The stereotype of brat-ish kids whose parents are never around. The ones in movies that we usually feel sorry for because they just want their parents love and time. Not the latest iPad.
Think of the culture of substance abuse, especially among the lower echelons of society, who try and fill that void with any substance they can. Who are so unhappy in the real world they would rather take or drink anything to no longer be there. You don't need to condone substance abuse, or the ramifications from that. Just understand the cause. It might help treat the symptoms.
Instead of judging with your physical sight, try and understand with your spiritual sight.
Try it with your kids, loved ones, parents, and even beggars on the side of the road. Look them in the eye. See them. Give them a reason to feel seen for just a moment and make the biggest difference to more people than you could count when the ripple of acknowledgement spreads like wildfire.
One day at a time.
When I see my children I leave my phone in my bag, and spend hours playing with them, seeing them, listening to them. From this we have a very special relationship. My teen will freely tell me she loves me, and that I'm the best mom. I have fewer photo's with them, and more memories. We dance, and sing, and act silly just because.
I see them. And if we are to meet, as passer-by's at a shop, or on the street, I will see you too.
As we head into a new year, creating resolutions to become better people, I would like to add my little two cents for consideration.
The truest gift to receive is being part of changing a person's life in a positive and meaningful way.
Like an Oprah-esque level of change. Life changing. You know the ones: Where you’re sitting with a huge grin, tears pricking your eyes or shamelessly pouring down your cheeks as you watch someone who has lived through unimaginable challenges being given their dreams on a diamond crusted platinum platter.
It happened to me recently. Minus the budget. One of the roles I play is facilitator for (mostly) uneducated and unemployed women through certified courses to be more employable, and on this day one of the women burst into tears in the workshop...
Why?
Because this is the first time in her life she absolutely believes she can follow her dreams.
Because when she asked me during our lesson if I believed she had what it takes, and I said yes. Cue the healing tears bursting forth from her. Great big sobs. Which felt wonderful to behold knowing this lady is going from rock bottom to the opportunity of landing her dream job because I believe in her. I didn’t even need squillions of dollars to do it.
Before you ask, yes I got teary. As did the other learners in the class.
It had me thinking about the true power behind our words. It is humbling to be aware of this power, and even more so to watch this power in action. J.K Rowling herself has said: "Words are, in my not- so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it."
Abracadabra! The word used by magicians the world over to make magic happen, is Hebrew for “I create as I speak”. Books such as The Secret all deal with controlling the internal dialogue to manifest our desires, citing various rags-to-riches stories to prove these methods.
One word, spoken in love, has given a woman the confidence she needs after a series of hurt after hurt knocked her down. From being rejected by her mom at birth; to raising another woman's children as a child herself; watching these kids go to school while she has to stay home; and because she has no education told how dumb and useless she is... She is now shining from one little word. A single syllable!
Imagine if we all start using our words, the ones we use all the time to everyone daily, for good. At work, at home, with strangers, with kids, with adults, and possibly most importantly with ourselves.
Imagine a world filled with people who are able to follow their dreams and be passionate with it...
Imagine your children following their dreams and growing into happy adults, ready to change the world because they know they can. Children who grow into self-sufficient adults glowing with confidence…
Imagine the success of your company being built on upliftment and employee happiness. Not the stereotypical sitcom corporate "happy": real happy. A company filled with employees that love Monday morning's because it's work time. From your executives to the cleaning staff! Working as a perfect team, supportive, efficient. Everything runs smoothly because each employee is proud of who they are and the role they play in your company for the ultimate client experience...
It's as easy as the words you speak. Are you building and empowering with your words?
Or not?
Building needs to be done with proper compassion. With true interest in the individual.
The airy fairy hippy way. Remembering we are one.
Seeing every individual and purposefully seeking and growing their strengths. Looking for the uniqueness and the value this unique strength has for the individual and your company. The challenge is finding this gift. Giving every individual the opportunity to find their gift, and learn their value. What I can pretty much guarantee is making it a practice to find this gift in every individual in your company, then nurturing this gift and empowering this individual with this gift will create a loyalty to your company that cannot be bought.
The best part of all of this? I'm nobody. I'm just some girl, who after a series of unfortunate events has managed to find rock bottom. Seriously broke. Who was inspired today by a woman in a worse situation inspired by me... Using just one word.
It got me imagining a world of people being empowered by more powerful words. Words that cost thousands of rands a second to utter, being used to start a trend of mindfulness. Mindful of the power of those words to everyone they come into contact with. Choosing friendly and genuine over powerful and aloof.
If you think about it, this article in a nutshell covers most of the HR management techniques for staff retention and loyalty, increased revenue and profit, etc.
Just a lot simpler, and in my personal airy fairy executive summary mode.
